Asking questions gets you answers or a punch in the face

Hi, my name is Kellie Whitcomb and I have a myriad of medical issues which has rendered me infertile. This blog won’t be long winded, but hopefully it will be educational. My husband Tyler and I will share our thoughts of the week because each week is a new adventure. I appreciate people asking questions about my infertility, but LORD ALL MIGHTY, I might want to punch someone if someone suggests another life altering option. For me, this opening post will be about people asking questions. I am more than willing to discuss my infertility, but people ask and suggest fertility options as though I have never thought of them before. “Why don’t you have kids yet? You have been married for 4 year already...you should have kids” “what about IVF (in vitro fertilization)?” “Doesn’t insurance cover fertility treatments?” “How far into the adoption process are you?” “Kids are part of gods plan. Have you prayed to get pregnant?” These few questions are asked by friends, family, and strangers. It gets overwhelming. Infertility is something I had to cope with. I grew up wanting to be a mother, so my dreams were dashed. I had to find new dreams. I had to accept that I would never give my baby-hungry husband biological children. I had to try and get my family to understand that infertility is not a choice. I had to try and tell people at church that I would be happy for a miracle baby, but I am not expecting it. It’s hard to have hope for something that won’t happen. “Where is your faith?” Jeez, stab me in the feels. I am bombarded with questions more days than others and although I have set answers, my feelings either get hurt or get angry. I come up with my own questions (I would never say them out loud), “how many times do I have to answer the same question? Since when is it your business when I have children? Do you know how many sleepless nights I have had pleading to god to give me the chance to have that miracle baby for my husband?” I love educating people and answering the questions is easy, but some days, I just want to shut down and live in denial that I can never have a baby. Hi, my name is Tyler Whitcomb and I am Kellie’s husband. We are unable to have children naturally with the health problems that Kellie has dealt with all of our married life. Learning this was very sad but knowing there are other ways to build a family softened the blow. Since we started dating, Kellie and I have always talked about adopting so I am confident one day we will be able to have children be part of our life. The hardest part of all this for me is how little of help our insurance is. You can do anything to your body, including having your sex changed but infertility is something they won’t help with. My health insurance has a very low copay and has covered everything else that my wife has gone through. But if we wanted to try and get pregnant through IVF or even get tested to see what else can be done, none of it is covered. A big point of debate in our society today is abortion and how it needs to be available for everyone, free of cost. 3,500 abortion’s conducted every day but if my wife and I need help trying to get pregnant, then we are on our own. This is something that I feel needs to change, not only because it is affecting me, but because conceiving children is still a noble pursuit and should be encouraged. We have too many broken homes of single parents and perfectly good couples who need help conceiving.